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" People in Tulsa are totally friendly; the crowds are very nice. "

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" When you like something, you find time to do it. "

" I came to America to make it my home, and I did. "

" We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales. "

" Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication... which includes laughter. "

" Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds. "

" I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own. "

" Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds. "

" Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile. "

" I fed my ego, but not my soul. "

" Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. "

" I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering. "

" When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter. "

" I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world. "

" I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter. "

" It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart. "

" The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. "

" I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else. "

" We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel. "

" If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it. "

" There's depth in my comedy. "

" My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love. "

" Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. "

" Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. "

" The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in. "

" Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling. "

" If love is the treasure, laughter is the key. "

" We have a choice - we can both think and feel, using our heads and our hearts. "

" After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore. "

" I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good. "

" To my real estate agent, Chernobyl is a fixer-upper. "