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" Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Grim
Them
Think
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" The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Missed
Last
Why
" I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Love
I Believe
Believe
" I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Who
Guy
Funny
" People in Tulsa are totally friendly; the crowds are very nice. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Crowds
Friendly
Nice
" Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Connection
Laughter
Language
" I came to America to make it my home, and I did. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Came
Home
Did
" We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Us
Teacher
Nobody
" After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Funny
Soviet
Thought
" Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Men
Crime
Three
" I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Good
Time
Laughter
" My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Welcome
Freedom
Love
" Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Immigrants
Women
Men And Women
" I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Language
Live
Laughter
" In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One. "
Yakov Smirnoff
You
Two
Propaganda
" I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Environmental
Care
American
" When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Needs
Person
Other
" Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Feeling
Busy
Thinking
" If love is the treasure, laughter is the key. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Treasure
Laughter
Love Is
" Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication... which includes laughter. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Love Is
Communication
Laughter
" Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Two People
Laughter
Distance
" If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Great
Important
New York
" The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Washington
Reason
Oil
" I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Doing
American
Women
" When you like something, you find time to do it. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Like
Find
You
" There's depth in my comedy. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Comedy
Depth
" Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Notes
Always
Comedians
" As Americans after 9/11, we're much more united, together as a nation, and we got stronger, better, and more at peace. By peace, I mean the harmony you can feel in our united determination to fight these terrorists and killers. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Together
Fight
Determination
" I fed my ego, but not my soul. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Fed
My Soul
Soul
" Never having alone time is real tough on people. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Time
Tough
Alone
" It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart. "
Yakov Smirnoff
Heart
Spirit
Size