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" A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. "
" To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady. "
" The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. "
" Art is science made clear. "
" I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile. "
" I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at. "
" All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. "
" Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. "
" I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it. "
" The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in. "
" Failure has gone to his head. "
" If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research. "
" I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .' "
" There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. "
" In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork. "
" A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. "
" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "
" The first hundred years are the hardest. "
" The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears. "
" It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. "
" Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. "
" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "
" The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. "
" I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. "
" Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished. "
" To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. "
" A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant. "
" A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something. "
" Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. "
" Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. "
" Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton. "