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" If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research. "

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" Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. "

" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "

" In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork. "

" The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. "

" I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile. "

" You sparkle with larceny. "

" The first hundred years are the hardest. "

" A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant. "

" I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. "

" Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. "

" I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience. "

" There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. "

" A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. "

" I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own. "

" A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. "

" It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. "

" The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears. "

" Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. "

" Failure has gone to his head. "

" All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. "

" To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. "

" I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it. "

" Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished. "

" Art is science made clear. "

" Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. "

" To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady. "

" A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something. "

" The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in. "

" Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. "