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" Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. "

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" If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. "

" To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. "

" There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. "

" Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. "

" There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them. "

" Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. "

" Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. "

" It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. "

" A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. "

" Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius. "

" One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can. "

" It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. "

" There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. "

" Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. "

" It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. "

" It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. "

" Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. "

" Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. "

" If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time. "

" It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money. "

" The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. "

" About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it. "

" I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. "

" Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. "

" Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since. "

" Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. "

" In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us. "

" Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves. "

" The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so. "

" Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. "