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" Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. "

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" Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. "

" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "

" Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. "

" Remember the poor, it costs nothing. "

" One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can. "

" Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. "

" Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. "

" Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. "

" There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. "

" There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. "

" If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time. "

" Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. "

" There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. "

" You’d better not know so much, than to know so many things that ain’t so. "

" Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has. "

" About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it. "

" Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. "

" If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. "

" As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. "

" Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. "

" Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. "

" The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. "

" No one can disgrace us but ourselves. "

" It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. "

" Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. "

" The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. "

" I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money. "

" One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. "

" The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. "

" Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. "