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" Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. "
Josh Billings
Your
Man
Sins
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" Remember the poor, it costs nothing. "
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" The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. "
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" It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. "
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" There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. "
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" When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. "
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" As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. "
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" There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. "
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" The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. "
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" There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. "
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" To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. "
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" Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. "
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" It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. "
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" The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease. "
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" Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. "
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" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "
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" Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. "
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" If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. "
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" Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. "
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" The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way. "
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" Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. "
Josh Billings
Anger
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" You’d better not know so much, than to know so many things that ain’t so. "
Josh Billings
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" Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go. "
Josh Billings
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" It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. "
Josh Billings
Sins
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" Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves. "
Josh Billings
Gets
He
Money
" Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. "
Josh Billings
Honesty
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Wisdom
" The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. "
Josh Billings
Good
Always
Ruin
" Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. "
Josh Billings
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" Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. "
Josh Billings
Life Is Short
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" Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. "
Josh Billings
One Thing
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