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" It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. "

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" Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. "

" One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. "

" The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. "

" Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. "

" The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so. "

" Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. "

" There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. "

" One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. "

" Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. "

" The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. "

" There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. "

" Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. "

" There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. "

" In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us. "

" Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. "

" Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius. "

" The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. "

" To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. "

" There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. "

" It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. "

" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "

" Remember the poor, it costs nothing. "

" Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. "

" Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. "

" Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. "

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" Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. "

" It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. "

" Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. "