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" Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. "
Josh Billings
You
Remember
Nobody
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" One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can. "
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" When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. "
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" About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. "
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" The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. "
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" Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. "
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" Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. "
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" I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money. "
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" Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. "
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" The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. "
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" I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. "
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" Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. "
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" You’d better not know so much, than to know so many things that ain’t so. "
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" Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. "
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" To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. "
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" Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words. "
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" The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way. "
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" A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. "
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" One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. "
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" Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. "
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" If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time. "
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" The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. "
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" A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. "
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" Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. "
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" Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. "
Josh Billings
Blind
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" Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. "
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" Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. "
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" There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. "
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Two
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" It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. "
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