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" Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers. "
" Immortality is a by-product of good work. "
" Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love. "
" The brilliance of Max Brooks is that he always quotes authorities at the back of his books that never existed. Like a Russian professor he made up that validates a story or character. "
" There's an army story in me, and I think there's a WWII Brooks film somewhere. "
" As far as songwriters, I've always been a fan of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, and George Gershwin; those guys mean a lot to me. "
" If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively. "
" You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself. "
" You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it. "
" Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart. "
" I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn. "
" Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. "
" No, no, the songs write themselves, almost. "
" If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. "
" My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible. "
" Humor is just another defense against the universe. "
" Judd Apatow is pretty good, both as a producer and as a director. "
" We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody. "
" But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality. "
" I like Chris Rock. He's dangerous. "
" I don't believe in this business of being behind, better to be in front. "
" As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. "
" Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy. "
" Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you. "
" I'm rather secular. I'm basically Jewish. But I think I'm Jewish not because of the Jewish religion at all. "
" Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him. "
" If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country. "
" Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or direct them, or sometimes just produce them. "
" I only direct in self-defense. "
" I loved Westerns as a little kid, and I loved horror films. "
" If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win. "