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" We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody. "

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" I know how to make it a great musical. I've got to. It's like I've got to see it on stage. "

" You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it. "

" Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart. "

" It's talent. Either you got it or you ain't. "

" Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him. "

" I'm rather secular. I'm basically Jewish. But I think I'm Jewish not because of the Jewish religion at all. "

" Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive. "

" If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country. "

" If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively. "

" Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance. "

" I don't have a mission. I don't have a torch to burn. "

" I love writing songs. I'm a songwriter. "

" The brilliance of Max Brooks is that he always quotes authorities at the back of his books that never existed. Like a Russian professor he made up that validates a story or character. "

" Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. "

" You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself. "

" Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers. "

" Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or direct them, or sometimes just produce them. "

" I was in the army, and to me it was like a newsreel. "

" Immortality is a by-product of good work. "

" Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius. "

" Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy. "

" My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible. "

" I'll accept bad taste in a minute, as long as there's some great comedy minds and performances. "

" If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win. "

" A brushstroke of vanity is good to add into the mix, to balance your timidity. We're all blessed with a lot of timidity and a lot of worry and anxiety, and vanity is a good antidote. "

" Humor is just another defense against the universe. "

" If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. "

" A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan. "

" But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality. "