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" Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art. "

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" Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse. "

" I'm never going to be Tolstoy. "

" I think I just pick really smart and motivated people to work with - people who are probably going to do great things anyway - and I just teach them what I know, maybe teach them how to think a little clearer than they did before, and then off they go. "

" I don't even pursue girls anymore. I mean, I could obviously still pursue girls. It's not like I can't. But I don't have to pursue girls anymore. Girls come to me. "

" No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog. "

" If you like to argue just for the sake of being contentious, you shouldn't pick a job based on this unresolved emotional issue of yours, you should get counseling for it. "

" Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much. "

" You know, even big-time academics kind of have groupies. Anyone with any sort of fame. So, like, in your micro-world, or in your niche, you're kind of like a celebrity. "

" There aren't a whole lot of people in culture that are unapologetically masculine. "

" Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party. "

" There is always more demand for great content then there will be great content to satisfy it. "

" Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future. "

" It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way. "

" I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there. "

" I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures. "

" I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy. "

" Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another. "

" My parents got divorced when I was around a year old. My dad was essentially a nonentity in my life until I got to be about 16 or so. My mom was a flight attendant for PanAm, so I moved all over the world. London, Rio de Janeiro. "

" I think 20th century media were about tricking people - and the beauty of the Internet is you can't lie anymore. "

" The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me. "

" Women always want the guy that other women want. "

" A personal brand is relevant to people who sell or create something relevant to who they are as a person. If you're not in that boat, which most people are not, personal branding makes no sense. "

" The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't. "

" Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales. "

" Obviously, I love Japanese food. My favorite TV show of all time, without exception, is 'Iron Chef.' Not the stupid American version; 'Iron Chef' Japanese; the real one, the one that was on in Japan... my DVR for years was set to record almost every single 'Iron Chef' episode. "

" Think about it: If you don't have any actual, tangible skills, then how can you do anything? You may be laughing and nodding, but do you realize how few people, when asked the basic question, 'What can you do?' stumble on the answer and have nothing to say? Most people. "

" I always laugh when people call me a misogynist. I... love women! Everything I do is to impress women. And if I hated women, why would half my fans be women? "

" I'm a decent-looking guy, but I've never walked into a room and got a girl because of how I looked. Look, I'm never excluded because of my looks. I just don't stand out. "

" I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me. "

" The haters always scream the loudest. "