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" The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Teacher

School

Problem

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" Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present. "

" Even the dumber parts of our government are not run by idiots. These are ordinary people like us, doing a job. By and large, they're trying to do it as well as they can. Or at least as often as people in the private sector try to do as well as they can. "

" The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews. "

" I read good. I was an English major. "

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" The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It's a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect. "

" Chinese economic development has cost many American workers their jobs. That's the price of progress. "

" People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth. "

" Adam Smith is misread as being amoral precisely because people don't read his first book, because they don't read 'The Theory of Moral Sentiments.' "

" You're never going to read 'The Wealth of Nations,' and you shouldn't, really. It's 900 pages. "

" Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law if they could. "

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" Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere. "

" No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are. "

" I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Home

Think

" A person has got to balance work and life and family in order to be a balanced person. "

" The laws of the marketplace are physical laws, and they don't become suspended in a crisis any more than the law of gravity does. "

" America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. "

" If you talk to most businessmen, they'll say that what they do is for the public good, but you know they're just greedy, and consumers are just consuming for the sake of their own greed. "

" Once you've built the big machinery of political power, remember you won't always be the one to run it. "

" Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such an excellent banjo player that you almost don't wish you had a pair of wire cutters. "

" Only a few good leaders have paused to reflect seriously on being leaders. "

" Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. "

" I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. "

" Love can never be fully explained. "