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" When the government runs out of lenders, it can do something that households are forbidden to do: print money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Money
Something
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" Democrats hate Democrats most of all. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democrats
Most
Hate
" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Climate Change
Research
Change
" The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to America's young people, 'We be thugs.' The GOP may capture the youth vote at last. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
America
Great
" All religious believers should be licensed to make sure that they are competent to hold opinions and viewpoints and that they don't believe in just any old thing, such as creationism or a flat tax. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Opinions
Old
Just
" A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Long
Changed
Great
" I think that humor has become a principle means of communication among Americans about politics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Politics
Humor
" I've got a 1990 Porsche 911. It's just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Got
Like
Love
" A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Way
Only
Nothing
" America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Nation
Think
Thank God
" A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Dollar
Gold
Silver
" The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It's a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Country
Problem
Water
" Harvard is the home of American ideas. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Ideas
Home
American
" Never wear anything that panics the cat. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Never
Cat
Wear
" Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Domino
Pizza
Wealth
" Who, other than a crazy person, does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Crazy
Up
Person
" The good thing about SUVs is they have storage. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Thing
About
Good
" Politics is - once in a while - a forum for serious debate about political philosophy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Political
Serious
Debate
" The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Head
End
" I am unboreable in the great outdoors. "
P. J. O'Rourke
I Am
Am
Great
" You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Growing
You
Children
" President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship, they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn English. Bush doesn't meet those qualifications. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Immigrants
Citizenship
Meet
" One of the few benefits of being a journalist is that you're not in the Army. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Army
You
Journalist
" Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Run
Politicians
Political
" Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Goods
Buy
Nobody
" I don't think anybody's really been successful with theorizing about value or creating a price theory. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Successful
Creating
" America's grossly unfair tax system won't lead to class war. Or, if it does, the war will be brief. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tax
Class
Unfair
" There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Family
Marriage
Love
" What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Most
People
Test
" Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Strange
Digital
" All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Done
Work
Step