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" Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. "

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" Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. "

" Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. "

" A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. "

" A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. "

" Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has. "

" Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius. "

" There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them. "

" There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. "

" Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. "

" Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. "

" Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. "

" Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. "

" The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm. "

" You’d better not know so much, than to know so many things that ain’t so. "

" Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. "

" It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money. "

" When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. "

" No one can disgrace us but ourselves. "

" As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. "

" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "

" Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. "

" The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. "

" About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it. "

" Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. "

" It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. "

" Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. "

" If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety. "

" Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. "

" The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so. "

" It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. "