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" I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show,' I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson. Having a British accent definitely gave me a sonic leg up on that because there is a faux authority to the British accent in and of itself. "

John Oliver

Actor

Authority

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" People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing. "

" I wanted to be a soccer player. I knew that couldn't happen. "

" I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas. "

" I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life. "

" The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen. "

" Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury. "

" There is so much cross-pollination between the U.S. and Britain in terms of comedians. British TV comedies work well in the U.S. American stand-ups make it big in Britain. "

" You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them. "

" I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think. "

John Oliver

Said

Decision

" I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician. "

" I can't relax. I find vacations problematic. "

" I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is. "

" The disconnect between America and its military is shocking. "

" There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can't hurt you anymore when you've been completely dismantled. "

" I would never heckle someone. That's why I think I'm so interested in someone that would. "

" I feel non-stop Brit shame! "

" Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being. "

" I find it hard in my general life to think further than the week ahead. "

" A Southern accent is not a club in my bag. "

" You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.' "

John Oliver

Know

Ready

" I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior. "

" The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator. "

" You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting. "

" If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences. "

" There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. "

" When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing. "

" Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can. "

John Oliver

Beast

You

" Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest. "