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" There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. "

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" There is no greater anesthetic than sport. "

" There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can't hurt you anymore when you've been completely dismantled. "

" I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think. "

" There's never any time I think I'm a real journalist, because I don't have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that. "

" There is so much cross-pollination between the U.S. and Britain in terms of comedians. British TV comedies work well in the U.S. American stand-ups make it big in Britain. "

" We in Britain stopped evolving gastronomically with the advent of the pie. Everything beyond that seemed like a brave, frightening new world. We knew the French were up to something across the Channel, but we didn't want anything to do with it. "

" My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler. "

" I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life. "

" Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life. "

" We invented words; we'll tell you how they're supposed to sound. "

" As any Brit will understand, things get a little easier when you don't have to be number one any more. Really, the fall of an empire is not as bad as everyone thinks. It's like retirement. People fear retirement, but it can turn out be rather pleasant. "

" I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression. "

" I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free. "

" I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have. "

" I feel non-stop Brit shame! "

" It's pretty physically unsettling, living life on a visa. "

" Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being. "

" The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. "

" Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back. "

" Politicians don't really bring up religion in England. "

" I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things. "

" Americans just don't understand dry wit. "

" It really helps a comedian to be an outsider. "

" Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels. "

" Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury. "

" Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had. "

" You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.' "

" The disconnect between America and its military is shocking. "

" People really have come for a dialogue when they go to a stand-up show in the U.K. They say, 'I understand that you have now finished your little comedy monologue; now I have something to say regarding what I've just heard. "

" People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character. "