Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" As any Brit will understand, things get a little easier when you don't have to be number one any more. Really, the fall of an empire is not as bad as everyone thinks. It's like retirement. People fear retirement, but it can turn out be rather pleasant. "

Related Quotes:

" If you're asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion. "

John Oliver

You

Cannot

" If I wanted to take a more activist or journalistic slant in work, I should probably just go be an activist or a journalist. But I'm happy being a comedian. "

John Oliver

Happy

" The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked. "

John Oliver

Quality

Moment

" There is so much cross-pollination between the U.S. and Britain in terms of comedians. British TV comedies work well in the U.S. American stand-ups make it big in Britain. "

" I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into. "

John Oliver

Field

Fun

" I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think. "

John Oliver

Said

Decision

" Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that way now. You are a stand-up first; other things come and go. "

" My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American. "

" You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.' "

John Oliver

Know

Ready

" Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually. "

John Oliver

Talk

Find

" I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is. "

" The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen. "

" Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being. "

" I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life. "

" When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery. "

" I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have. "

" Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had. "

" I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it. "

John Oliver

Place

America

" I feel non-stop Brit shame! "

" The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not. "

" I wanted to be a soccer player. I knew that couldn't happen. "

" Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper. "

" Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can. "

John Oliver

Beast

You

" You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job. "

" People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character. "

" If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences. "

" I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes. "

John Oliver

Jokes

Ask

" Politics has become infused with narcissism in America. "

" People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing. "

" Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back. "