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" The perceptions of middle age have their own luminosity. "
Gail Sheehy
Middle
Age
Perceptions
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" We have to move from the unbridled pursuit of self-gain at the expense of others to recovering appreciation for what we gain by caring and sharing with one another. "
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" Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. "
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" It seems like, to me, somewhere between 30 and 35 is a really, really good time to turn your eggs into babies. "
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" I dare to do things - that's how I survive. "
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" Jill Clayburgh's life so closely paralleled mine, I feel as though a part of me lived a little through her and died a little with her. "
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" In the first phase of shock over, say, your mortgage being called in or your job washed out, it's essential to engage with others and share the fear, release the feelings, do fun things to take your mind off it. "
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" You don't have to feel confident to act confident. In fact, it's the most important acting job you can learn. "
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" Family caregiving has become a predictable crisis. Americans are living longer and longer but dying slower and slower. "
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" The first thing one notices about Jill Abramson is her short stature. The second is her intensity. "
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" I found the happiest woman in America is between 50 and 55, is happily married, has made significant progress in her career, and lives in a community where she can easily exercise outside. But the most important single thing was she had her last child before she was 35. "
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" Being a pathfinder is to be willing to risk failure and still go on. "
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" I did not give my daughter the kind of childhood anybody would want. The vision of the divided loyalty between a mother and father who don't live together and don't share in decisions is a great depravation for children. "
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" Character is what was yesterday and will be tomorrow. "
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" Sex and older women used to be considered an oxymoron, rarely mentioned in the same breath. "
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" Spontaneity, the hallmark of childhood, is well worth cultivating to counteract the rigidity that may otherwise set in as we grow older. "
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" One of the ways we women often handicap ourselves is thinking that once we've made a decision or a commitment, we can't change. "
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" We really only have two choices. Play it safe, or take a chance. For me, pulling back because of fear has always made me feel worse. "
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Play
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" We see it in the body, that if you just give the body enough rest and comfort, it has remarkable self-healing capacities. Well, so does the spirit. "
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" Over the next few years the boardrooms of America are going to light up with hot flashes. "
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" I actually like getting out of my comfort zone. It shakes me up. "
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" I've had the experience of having a book praised but then it doesn't sell. Or not praised but then it sells. "
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Having
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Book
" Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties. "
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Certainties
" I do think taking the 20s to take the most chances you can is important, because you're not going to hurt anyone else during that time. And if you do have a partner, you need a couple years to rehearse that relationship. "
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Time
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" I do think women can have it all - but not all women. If you take daring steps and are smart about it, you can probably have it all. But you might have to wait a while. "
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" Be willing to shed parts of your previous life. For example, in our 20s, we wear a mask; we pretend we know more than we do. We must be willing, as we get older, to shed cocktail party phoniness and admit, 'I am who I am.' "
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Admit
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Mask
" In my memoir, I admit that I've been as fearful of success as of failure. In fact, when 'Passages' was published, I so dreaded bad reviews that I ran away to Italy with a girlfriend and our children to hide out. "
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Bad
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" There is no more defiant denial of one man's ability to possess one woman exclusively than the prostitute who refuses to redeemed. "
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" Like everyone else in the first weeks after the tragedy of 9/11, I was looking frantically for some way to help. "
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" You have a new role: family caregiver. It's a role nobody applies for. You don't expect it. You won't be prepared. You probably won't even identify yourself as a caregiver. "
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" Stress overload makes us stupid. Solid research proves it. When we get overstressed, it creates a nasty chemical soup in our brains that makes it hard to pull out of the anxious depressive spiral. "
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Soup
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