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" I do my best creating on stage. "

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" I love working with Alec Baldwin. He's one of the five greatest actors ever to live. "

" Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses. "

" I want to be an example of a guy who made something of himself out of nothing. A guy who overcame the odds of a tough childhood, who worked hard, who didn't let his surroundings get the best of him and lead him to jail or the graveyard. Where I ended up - being a comedian, a TV star, and a movie actor - might be unique, but my story is not. "

" Ladies are honest. They're my motivation. They know what's funny, and the dudes just follow. "

" When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it. "

" I don't even read the newspaper; I don't read that crap. "

" People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages these days. We're losing all of our communication skills. "

" I have a pretty diverse audience, and that makes me happy - laughter is universal, and I don't differentiate between people at all. Why should I? People are people. There's no reason why one person can't relate to any other person on this planet in some way or another. "

" Black people dance well because we start early - there's music being played everywhere. White people? They don't start dancing until they get to college, and by then, it's too late; the bottom don't move with the top no matter how hard they try. "

" I'm human, I feel, I understand. That's the highest level of love, is understanding - when you can understand someone, when you can love them with their flaws and their faults. So I understand, I consider. I may speak the truth, but I'll consider your feelings, too. "

" People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive. "

" The most romantic thing I ever did to my woman? I painted her toenails! "

" If you can survive 'Saturday Night Live,' then you're good as far as show business is concerned. "

" There aren't a lot of guys out there keeping it real. Everybody's been branded. Everybody's been bought and sold. "

" I guess I'm entertaining; I guess I'm interesting. I guess the things that I say sell papers. I guess they sell magazines. I don't know. "

" I had a great time working on 'Saturday Night Live.' It was one of the important times in my life. "

" Sometimes I think we're exposed to things we shouldn't be exposed to too early. I think that sets the tone to a person's whole life. Trauma. "

" I have my Lucky Charms in the morning, and I feel magical. "

" I don't need no stool and mike stand. I don't need all of that to be funny. I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye. "

" In my heart, I really don't care who you love, same sex or not; as long as you have the ability to love, that's the important thing here. "

" All women like to look up to their men. "

" Of all the sicknesses, there is probably none more abusive than homophobia. "

" That's a gift God's given us: the ability to work together in collaborations. "

" If I gamble, I'll play roulette. My wife and I will play roulette, and that's about it. I'm not a heavy gambler. "

" I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that. "

" I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. "

" You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker. "

" When you look at the artists who have come up through 'Billboard' over the years, it's incredible. "

" Anybody who's lived in the ghetto knows that you don't move during the daytime. Here's why: You don't want anyone to know you're leaving, and you don't want anyone knowing where you're going. "

" If I get some Bruce Lee nun-chucks that he actually used in a movie, those are going in the case. Those will never be used. Those will never be touched. "