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" There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists. "

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" I was always a very happy, optimistic person. "

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" My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?' "

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" I hate puppets so much. "

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" It's this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it's great. "

" The problem is we moved to LA... The only way to be punk rock in L.A. is to be a Republican. "

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" We created a brand for ourselves, so that now people can't get mad at what we do, because then they're just making of themselves. "

" When I was a kid, to me, the Evergreen Players were the big time. "

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" I don't even know where Russia and Mexico are. "

" We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.' "

" The 'Beavis and Butt-head' movie was just a movie-length version of the TV show. "

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" I find Mormons adorable. "

" Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb? "

" I bought a house for my mom, I bought a house for my dad, I bought a house for my sister. "

" It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want. "

" I would let my kids watch this stuff way before I'd let them watch something like 'Full House' that I think would make them stupid. "

" I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny. "

" Sean Penn's really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper. "

" I've gotten to a point where I wouldn't direct someone else's material. It would only be something totally original. "

" Colorado's right next to Utah - you know, Mormon Central. "

" If we have a great idea, we'll go, 'Oh, this could be a cool movie.' Or really for us, it's more like, 'Oh, this is a really bad idea. Let's do this. This seems really stupid.' "

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" Like anything important, anything you need people to hear - you've got to have music for it. You've got to make it at least a little piece of a song or sometimes a whole song. "

" You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody. "

" I got into this little habit of architecture and building. I designed a house in Colorado and one in Hawaii. The idea is supposed to be build and sell - but then I can never bring myself to sell them. "

" I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person. "

" I try not to tune in to politics until it's two or three months before the election. Till then, it's like watching preseason football. "