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" When I was a kid, to me, the Evergreen Players were the big time. "

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" You know that everyone thinks that in order to do South Park we must be wild, crazy, rock and roll stars. But the truth is we're just wholesome middle-American guys. We enjoy soda pop, baseball and beating up old people just as much as anybody. "

" All the religions are super funny to me. "

" We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us. "

" Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they're the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be. "

" I try not to tune in to politics until it's two or three months before the election. Till then, it's like watching preseason football. "

" The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act. "

" My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut. "

" When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, 'The Dentist.' I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of what can go wrong at the dentist, and I just remember I had lots of fake blood and everything. "

" I've gotten to a point where I wouldn't direct someone else's material. It would only be something totally original. "

" In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever. "

" Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. "

" I was a big Broadway fan for a while. "

" Colorado's right next to Utah - you know, Mormon Central. "

" If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last 'South Park' episodes,' I'd be like, 'No, no, no.' "

" You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado. "

" Sean Penn's really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper. "

" I would let my kids watch this stuff way before I'd let them watch something like 'Full House' that I think would make them stupid. "

" My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?' "

" Doing a musical is like having a kid. It's out there alive somewhere. It's not like a movie or a TV show where what we intended is what everyone will see. The kid can act out. The kid's going to do what it wants to do. "

" Out of all the ridiculous religion stories - which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous - the silliest one I've ever heard is, 'Yeah, there's this big, giant universe, and it's expanding, and it's all going to collapse on itself, and we're all just here, just 'cuz. Just 'cuz.' That to me, is the most ridiculous explanation ever. "

" You can't make experimental work by copying past work. "

" Most people I know are not hard-core religious people. They are what I would call 'lightly religious.' So I don't buy the notion that we can't laugh about religion in America. "

" I've never met a Mormon I didn't like. They're really nice people. They're so Disney. They're so Rodgers and Hammerstein. "

" I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person. "

" If you're famous, you suck, just for being famous. People in England totally get that; Americans don't. "

" When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh. "

" We created a brand for ourselves, so that now people can't get mad at what we do, because then they're just making of themselves. "

" When you sit down and write a song, you kind of have the idea for the song, and you sit there at the piano and you kinda just write it. And then of course later there's some dinking around with it and changing some stuff. "

" If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you'll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup for change. And the Mormons don't ever ask him to leave. "

" We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.' "