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" Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable. "

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" How many times have you been watching an episode of 'South Park' and thought, 'I'd like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled by my tablet device which is hooked into my oven, all while sitting in the refrigerator?' "

" If somebody actually came to me and said, 'O.K., this is it: write your last 'South Park' episodes,' I'd be like, 'No, no, no.' "

" My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut. "

" I would let my kids watch this stuff way before I'd let them watch something like 'Full House' that I think would make them stupid. "

" Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it. "

" I have no desire to ever talk to Sean Penn. "

" I was a big Broadway fan for a while. "

" You know, and it really doesn't have a lot to do with the movie. That's the trick to doing a good musical is that, if you take that music number out, there's less to the movie there. You would miss it. "

" The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act. "

" Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd. "

" My fear is that, as soon as I get married and have kids that I'll kind of do what a lot of people do and suddenly start making, 'Now I'm gonna make films for kids.' I really hope I don't do that. "

" It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want. "

" When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado's a redneck with a gun and all this stuff. "

" I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny. "

" In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever. "

" It's been a fascinating thing because we didn't really know how to write when we started South Park at all. It's been like, we've just sort of grown up a bit and it's amazing to just see how, if you take Butters and Cartman and put them in any scene, it works. "

" My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?' "

" All the religions are super funny to me. "

" Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. "

" I've gotten to a point where I wouldn't direct someone else's material. It would only be something totally original. "

" The 'Beavis and Butt-head' movie was just a movie-length version of the TV show. "

" Even if you're not Christian, just from being in our culture you know Jesus and resurrection and redemption. "

" There is nothing we can't do. So it's just the fact that we're doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won't touch, that we're satirists. "

" Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they're the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be. "

" When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, 'The Dentist.' I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of what can go wrong at the dentist, and I just remember I had lots of fake blood and everything. "

" It was exactly the same on the South Park movie really too. There's lots of violence in that too, but it always came down to anything sexual... They don't care about anything else. "

" I've started confiding in people, other artists mostly, that I hate making 'South Park,' and I always have. It's super stressful. I'm always miserable. "

" When I was a kid, to me, the Evergreen Players were the big time. "

" We created a brand for ourselves, so that now people can't get mad at what we do, because then they're just making of themselves. "

" When you're watching 'Armageddon,' and the Aerosmith song starts... Super funny. "