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" I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these? "

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" When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen. "

" I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever. "

" It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers. "

" As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing. "

" I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite. "

" My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too. "

" In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door. "

" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "

" I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that. "

" Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up. "

" Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell. "

" I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax. "

" I love 'Modern Family.' And I love 'Glee' - the singing, the music - Jane Lynch just kills me. "

" I struggled for a while, but when I was cast in an Off Broadway show called 'Once Upon a Mattress,' that kind of put me on the map. "

" I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances. "

" I loved doing 'The Family' with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there were no jokes written into those sketches. It was all character-driven. And sometimes it got a little heavy. "

" I love audiences. "

" I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry. "

" Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. "

" I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those movies with my grandmother in the '40s because there was no cynicism. "

" Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. "

" I'm so happy with what has happened in my life. "

" Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant. "

" My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen. "

" I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical. "

" Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. "

" My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away. "

" When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had to take this acting class as a theater arts major. I had to do this scene in a one-act comedy. I just said this line, and then... this laugh happened. I thought, 'Whoa. This is a really good feeling. What have I been missing?' "

" I really enjoy connecting with the audience. "

" It all happened the way it was supposed to. I wouldn't change anything. I had such a great run. "