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" When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen. "

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" You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has. "

" I have a great memory. "

" Jimmy Stewart and Lucille Ball were so unique. "

" You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because sometimes you're not the type. And sometimes it's somebody else's turn. "

" I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me. "

" Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. "

" When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had to take this acting class as a theater arts major. I had to do this scene in a one-act comedy. I just said this line, and then... this laugh happened. I thought, 'Whoa. This is a really good feeling. What have I been missing?' "

" I never felt cynical, and I never felt that I couldn't do what I wanted to do. "

" Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids. "

" I really enjoy connecting with the audience. "

" I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas. "

" I didn't really get comfortable until I got to UCLA, and I had to take an acting course because I was studying theater arts. "

" When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go. "

" As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing. "

" I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. "

" I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those movies with my grandmother in the '40s because there was no cynicism. "

" Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief. "

" I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it. "

" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "

" I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that. "

" I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy. "

" My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away. "

" I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry. "

" I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh. "

" In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door. "

" What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters. "

" My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved. "

" When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and entertainers could dance, sing, play the piano, act, make you laugh. "

" Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. "

" I loved doing 'The Family' with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there were no jokes written into those sketches. It was all character-driven. And sometimes it got a little heavy. "