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" In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door. "

Carol Burnett

Gentleman

Job

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Carol Burnett

Time

Be Different

" Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. "

" I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. "

" Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief. "

" Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. "

" What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters. "

Carol Burnett

Think

Write

" I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me. "

" I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today. "

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" Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant. "

Carol Burnett

Brilliant

Body

" When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had to take this acting class as a theater arts major. I had to do this scene in a one-act comedy. I just said this line, and then... this laugh happened. I thought, 'Whoa. This is a really good feeling. What have I been missing?' "

" I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. "

" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "

" But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table. "

" Jimmy Stewart and Lucille Ball were so unique. "

" I have a great memory. "

Carol Burnett

Memory

Great

" My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too. "

" My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story. "

" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "

" You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself. "

" I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw. "