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" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "
Carol Burnett
Room
Funniest
Go
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" I liked myself better when I wasn't me. "
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" My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away. "
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Eat
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" I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas. "
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Grandmother
Born
" Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief. "
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Texas
" In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door. "
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Gentleman
Me
Job
" I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. "
Carol Burnett
Optimistic
Always
Cooking
" My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen. "
Carol Burnett
Door
Kind
Mirror
" I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. "
Carol Burnett
Always
Been
Good
" I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those movies with my grandmother in the '40s because there was no cynicism. "
Carol Burnett
Movies
Grandmother
Feeling
" I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry. "
Carol Burnett
Poultry
Much
Eat
" Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that. "
Carol Burnett
Imagination
Edgy
Laugh
" I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice. "
Carol Burnett
Who
Always
Doing
" It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington. "
Carol Burnett
Washington
Almost
Impossible
" It all happened the way it was supposed to. I wouldn't change anything. I had such a great run. "
Carol Burnett
Change
Great
Had
" I'm not a person who likes to confront. "
Carol Burnett
Who
Person
Likes
" I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy. "
Carol Burnett
Comedy
Broadway
Wanted
" I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical. "
Carol Burnett
Reason
Think
Never
" Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant. "
Carol Burnett
Think
Brilliant
I Think
" You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has. "
Carol Burnett
Know
Newspaper
Experience
" I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that. "
Carol Burnett
Long
Watch
Want
" When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged. "
Carol Burnett
Disappointment
Discouraged
Things
" I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that. "
Carol Burnett
Moving
Myself
Love
" I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances. "
Carol Burnett
Now
Guard
Circumstances
" I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these? "
Carol Burnett
False
Like
You
" I didn't really get comfortable until I got to UCLA, and I had to take an acting course because I was studying theater arts. "
Carol Burnett
Arts
Studying
Got
" Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. "
Carol Burnett
Famous
Celebrity
Long
" I prefer doing TV, where it can be different every time. "
Carol Burnett
TV
Time
Be Different
" I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite. "
Carol Burnett
Happy
Law
Fun
" When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and entertainers could dance, sing, play the piano, act, make you laugh. "
Carol Burnett
Play
Laugh
Business
" I love audiences. "
Carol Burnett
Audiences
I Love
Love