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" Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell. "
Carol Burnett
Scream
Good
Body
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" In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door. "
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Gentleman
Me
Job
" I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice. "
Carol Burnett
Who
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" I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there. "
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" I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy. "
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Comedy
Broadway
Wanted
" Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story. "
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You
Story
Going
" It all happened the way it was supposed to. I wouldn't change anything. I had such a great run. "
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Change
Great
Had
" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "
Carol Burnett
Variety
Weird
Show
" I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking. "
Carol Burnett
Puzzle
Morning
Matter
" I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. "
Carol Burnett
Listen
Jokes
Tell
" I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will. "
Carol Burnett
Shy
Kid
Kind
" Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. "
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Know
You
Think
" I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. "
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Always
Been
Good
" I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love. "
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Love
Writing
Loved
" Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief. "
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You
Welfare
Texas
" I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.' "
Carol Burnett
Glenn Close
Hooked
Damages
" I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw. "
Carol Burnett
Home
Best
Movies
" I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it. "
Carol Burnett
Take
Pictures
Phone
" Comedy is tragedy - plus time. "
Carol Burnett
Comedy
Tragedy
Plus
" Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up. "
Carol Burnett
I Am
Know
Want
" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "
Carol Burnett
Room
Funniest
Go
" We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted. "
Carol Burnett
Where
Setbacks
Going
" I'm not a person who likes to confront. "
Carol Burnett
Who
Person
Likes
" My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know? "
Carol Burnett
Doing
You
Week
" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "
Carol Burnett
Way
Never
Better
" I didn't really get comfortable until I got to UCLA, and I had to take an acting course because I was studying theater arts. "
Carol Burnett
Arts
Studying
Got
" But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. "
Carol Burnett
Living
People
Life
" Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter. "
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Laughter
Funny
Doing
" Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own. "
Carol Burnett
Words
Own
Once
" I was in California, and I was going to UCLA, and I knew I certainly didn't have movie star looks. I remember seeing pictures and photos of Ethel Merman and Mary Martin, who were kind of average looking. I said, 'Well, that's for me, then, to go back to New York and try to be in musical comedy on Broadway.' "
Carol Burnett
New York
Remember
Me
" My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run. "
Carol Burnett
Week
Grandmother
Movies