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" Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant. "

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" But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. "

" You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has. "

" You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because sometimes you're not the type. And sometimes it's somebody else's turn. "

" I had always been quiet and studious in school. I was the high school editor of the newspaper. "

" I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy. "

" I liked myself better when I wasn't me. "

" On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing. "

" Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. "

" Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. "

" Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that. "

" I never felt cynical, and I never felt that I couldn't do what I wanted to do. "

" I have a great memory. "

" I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax. "

" I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that. "

" I eat very well, and I do Pilates. "

" My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story. "

" My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved. "

" Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter. "

" I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical. "

" We don't stop going to school when we graduate. "

" As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing. "

" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "

" But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table. "

" Because nobody goes through life without a scar. "

" Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids. "

" I'm into 'House of Cards.' 'Breaking Bad' - my God, did I binge on that! "

" I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice. "

" We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted. "

" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "

" I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever. "