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" I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers. "
Ogden Nash
Juice
Mothers
Hope
Related Quotes:
" Too clever is dumb. "
Ogden Nash
Too
Clever
Dumb
" Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals? "
Ogden Nash
New
Long
Direct
" Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. "
Ogden Nash
Every
Having
Itch
" Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. "
Ogden Nash
Life
Man
Been
" One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence. "
Ogden Nash
Remorse
Man
Another
" I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. "
Ogden Nash
Right
News
Never
" There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends. "
Ogden Nash
Friends
Best
People
" Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you. "
Ogden Nash
Know
Voters
You
" I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance. "
Ogden Nash
Live
Rather
My Life
" A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. "
Ogden Nash
Side
Wrong
Door
" Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. "
Ogden Nash
Liquor
Quicker
Candy
" I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it. "
Ogden Nash
I Think
Think
Stop
" If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. "
Ogden Nash
You
Earn
Enough
" Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money? "
Ogden Nash
Try
Money
Funny
" Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs. "
Ogden Nash
Men
Whatever
Professional
" Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. "
Ogden Nash
Were
Ignore
Parents
" I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm. "
Ogden Nash
Man
Idea
Sex
" Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is. "
Ogden Nash
One Thing
Exclusive
Most
" Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. "
Ogden Nash
Night
Hope
Home
" The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk. "
Ogden Nash
Other
Cow
End
" A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. "
Ogden Nash
Children
Animal
Family
" People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. "
Ogden Nash
Work
Standing
People
" I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. "
Ogden Nash
Think
Fall
Lovely
" There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. "
Ogden Nash
Happiness
Achieve
Conscience
" Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. "
Ogden Nash
Parenting
Parents
Children
" The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin. "
Ogden Nash
People
Who
Only
" Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. "
Ogden Nash
Two
Never
Marriage
" Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. "
Ogden Nash
Mind
Remorse
Violent
" To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. "
Ogden Nash
Admit
Love
Loving
" I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine. "
Ogden Nash
Great
Saint
Valentine