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" Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. "
Ogden Nash
Two
Never
Marriage
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" People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. "
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" The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control. "
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" The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late. "
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" A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. "
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" I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance. "
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" Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. "
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" No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done. "
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" Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. "
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" Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals? "
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" I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. "
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" The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. "
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" I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm. "
Ogden Nash
Man
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" I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. "
Ogden Nash
Right
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" Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them. "
Ogden Nash
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" Women would rather be right than reasonable. "
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Women
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" Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early? "
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Simply
Late
You
" A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. "
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Side
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Door
" Too clever is dumb. "
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Too
Clever
Dumb
" Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is. "
Ogden Nash
One Thing
Exclusive
Most
" There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends. "
Ogden Nash
Friends
Best
People
" Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you. "
Ogden Nash
Know
Voters
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" The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk. "
Ogden Nash
Other
Cow
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" Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long. "
Ogden Nash
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" Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money? "
Ogden Nash
Try
Money
Funny
" I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it. "
Ogden Nash
I Think
Think
Stop
" Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive. "
Ogden Nash
Naive
Children
Oh
" Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. "
Ogden Nash
Life
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Been
" People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it. "
Ogden Nash
Want
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Really
" The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin. "
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" Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. "
Ogden Nash
Every
Having
Itch