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" I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same. "
Norman Wisdom
Childhood
You
Want
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" I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. "
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" Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world. "
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" Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it. Comedy was the main part of the theatre, and comedians earned a living by being funny. Now you have comedy in television instead. Comedians now have to be funny within a play. "
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" I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh. "
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" I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. "
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" But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get. "
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" Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse. "
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" I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen. "
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" I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces. "
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" I have a folder where I keep all the articles the critics have written about me. It makes me feel good. "
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" I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose. "
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" I've been making people laugh for 40 years, so I know how important it is! "
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" I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward. "
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" My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad. "
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" You see I'm semi-retired now and don't work all the time, only most of it! "
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" I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that. "
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" My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place. "
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Clean
Shoes
Hair
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