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" I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces. "
Norman Wisdom
Doing
You
Want
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" I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. "
Norman Wisdom
Tell
Never
Over
" All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved. "
Norman Wisdom
Ever
Boyhood
Wanted
" When you're as famous as I am, stories take on a life of their own. "
Norman Wisdom
Famous
You
Stories
" It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice. "
Norman Wisdom
Meet
Thrilling
Were
" Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world. "
Norman Wisdom
Over
Audience
World
" Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse. "
Norman Wisdom
Life
First
Been
" You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag. "
Norman Wisdom
Know
Dog
You
" I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night. "
Norman Wisdom
Dead
Home
School
" I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and this is really true - I go on to have fun with a crowd of my chums. "
Norman Wisdom
True
Now
Audience
" I must admit I like to muck around a bit; I always have. "
Norman Wisdom
Must
Admit
Always
" Of course I've done musicals here in London. "
Norman Wisdom
Done
London
Here
" In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there. "
Norman Wisdom
November
Out
Show
" There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over. "
Norman Wisdom
People
Comedy
Mistakes
" Don't get me wrong: I'm overjoyed with my career to date. But perhaps I could have done more. Mostly, I just did whatever the directors told me to do. "
Norman Wisdom
Wrong
Done
Career
" I believe in physical comedy, because that reaches out most to people. "
Norman Wisdom
I Believe
Most
People
" My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place. "
Norman Wisdom
Clean
Shoes
Hair
" I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose. "
Norman Wisdom
Boy
Music
Taught
" At my age, the radiation will probably do me good. "
Norman Wisdom
Good
Radiation
Me
" I have a folder where I keep all the articles the critics have written about me. It makes me feel good. "
Norman Wisdom
Good
Feel Good
Feel
" I play drums, clarinet, saxophone, trumpet, french horn, piano. "
Norman Wisdom
Play
Trumpet
Saxophone
" I owe everything to the army. "
Norman Wisdom
Everything
Owe
Army
" I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh. "
Norman Wisdom
Know
Laugh
Communism
" My father used to be away for months at a time, and he'd never leave any money for food, so my brother and I had to go out and nick it. "
Norman Wisdom
Go
Father
Brother
" My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad. "
Norman Wisdom
Three
Children
Need
" I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about. "
Norman Wisdom
Seven
Talking
Running
" What I like doing most is making children laugh. "
Norman Wisdom
Like
Doing
Most
" But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get. "
Norman Wisdom
Just
Lucky
Seem
" Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it. Comedy was the main part of the theatre, and comedians earned a living by being funny. Now you have comedy in television instead. Comedians now have to be funny within a play. "
Norman Wisdom
Comedy
Funny
People
" Most of my comedies were low on budgets - certainly by American standards. "
Norman Wisdom
Standards
Most
American
" I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward. "
Norman Wisdom
People
You
Myself