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" My father used to be away for months at a time, and he'd never leave any money for food, so my brother and I had to go out and nick it. "
Norman Wisdom
Go
Father
Brother
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" Of course I've done musicals here in London. "
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Done
London
Here
" Don't get me wrong: I'm overjoyed with my career to date. But perhaps I could have done more. Mostly, I just did whatever the directors told me to do. "
Norman Wisdom
Wrong
Done
Career
" My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place. "
Norman Wisdom
Clean
Shoes
Hair
" It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice. "
Norman Wisdom
Meet
Thrilling
Were
" I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night. "
Norman Wisdom
Dead
Home
School
" You see I'm semi-retired now and don't work all the time, only most of it! "
Norman Wisdom
See
Now
Only
" I've been making people laugh for 40 years, so I know how important it is! "
Norman Wisdom
People
Laugh
Know
" But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get. "
Norman Wisdom
Just
Lucky
Seem
" I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12. "
Norman Wisdom
Still
Think
Thinking
" I play drums, clarinet, saxophone, trumpet, french horn, piano. "
Norman Wisdom
Play
Trumpet
Saxophone
" You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag. "
Norman Wisdom
Know
Dog
You
" I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward. "
Norman Wisdom
People
You
Myself
" There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over. "
Norman Wisdom
People
Comedy
Mistakes
" I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces. "
Norman Wisdom
Doing
You
Want
" What I like doing most is making children laugh. "
Norman Wisdom
Like
Doing
Most
" I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen. "
Norman Wisdom
Fourteen
Lucky
Having
" I must admit I like to muck around a bit; I always have. "
Norman Wisdom
Must
Admit
Always
" It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap. "
Norman Wisdom
Working
Nice
Chap
" I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same. "
Norman Wisdom
Childhood
You
Want
" Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it. Comedy was the main part of the theatre, and comedians earned a living by being funny. Now you have comedy in television instead. Comedians now have to be funny within a play. "
Norman Wisdom
Comedy
Funny
People
" Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse. "
Norman Wisdom
Life
First
Been
" I have a folder where I keep all the articles the critics have written about me. It makes me feel good. "
Norman Wisdom
Good
Feel Good
Feel
" I do play drums when I'm on tour. "
Norman Wisdom
Drums
Tour
Play Drums
" As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. "
Norman Wisdom
Memory
You
Things Happen
" I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and this is really true - I go on to have fun with a crowd of my chums. "
Norman Wisdom
True
Now
Audience
" I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that. "
Norman Wisdom
Always
I Can
Long
" In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there. "
Norman Wisdom
November
Out
Show
" When you're as famous as I am, stories take on a life of their own. "
Norman Wisdom
Famous
You
Stories
" Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world. "
Norman Wisdom
Over
Audience
World
" I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about. "
Norman Wisdom
Seven
Talking
Running