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" Most of my comedies were low on budgets - certainly by American standards. "
Norman Wisdom
Standards
Most
American
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" I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh. "
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" You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag. "
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" I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose. "
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" Years ago, there was a variety theatre in every British town, and people paid to go down and see it. Comedy was the main part of the theatre, and comedians earned a living by being funny. Now you have comedy in television instead. Comedians now have to be funny within a play. "
Norman Wisdom
Comedy
Funny
People
" In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there. "
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November
Out
Show
" I owe everything to the army. "
Norman Wisdom
Everything
Owe
Army
" I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night. "
Norman Wisdom
Dead
Home
School
" Don't get me wrong: I'm overjoyed with my career to date. But perhaps I could have done more. Mostly, I just did whatever the directors told me to do. "
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Wrong
Done
Career
" All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved. "
Norman Wisdom
Ever
Boyhood
Wanted
" As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. "
Norman Wisdom
Memory
You
Things Happen
" You see I'm semi-retired now and don't work all the time, only most of it! "
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See
Now
Only
" Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse. "
Norman Wisdom
Life
First
Been
" I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward. "
Norman Wisdom
People
You
Myself
" My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad. "
Norman Wisdom
Three
Children
Need
" I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen. "
Norman Wisdom
Fourteen
Lucky
Having
" My father used to be away for months at a time, and he'd never leave any money for food, so my brother and I had to go out and nick it. "
Norman Wisdom
Go
Father
Brother
" There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over. "
Norman Wisdom
People
Comedy
Mistakes
" At my age, the radiation will probably do me good. "
Norman Wisdom
Good
Radiation
Me
" I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. "
Norman Wisdom
Born
Sorry
I Was Born
" I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. "
Norman Wisdom
Tell
Never
Over
" I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same. "
Norman Wisdom
Childhood
You
Want
" I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about. "
Norman Wisdom
Seven
Talking
Running
" It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice. "
Norman Wisdom
Meet
Thrilling
Were
" I do play drums when I'm on tour. "
Norman Wisdom
Drums
Tour
Play Drums
" But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get. "
Norman Wisdom
Just
Lucky
Seem
" I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12. "
Norman Wisdom
Still
Think
Thinking
" What I like doing most is making children laugh. "
Norman Wisdom
Like
Doing
Most
" I've been making people laugh for 40 years, so I know how important it is! "
Norman Wisdom
People
Laugh
Know
" Of course I've done musicals here in London. "
Norman Wisdom
Done
London
Here
" My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place. "
Norman Wisdom
Clean
Shoes
Hair