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" It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice. "

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" I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about. "

" I've been making people laugh for 40 years, so I know how important it is! "

" Most of my comedies were low on budgets - certainly by American standards. "

" You see I'm semi-retired now and don't work all the time, only most of it! "

" In fact, one was so booked out we went from March and were to go till November, but the pantomime was booked so they transferred the show to the Prince of Wales Theatre because it was so packed out, and it ran on from there. "

" I do play drums when I'm on tour. "

" You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag. "

" My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place. "

" It was smashing working with Jerry Desmonde, he was a very nice chap. "

" I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night. "

" I don't know nothing about communism. But I know the Albanians loved me. Same reason as anyone else loves me. Because I made them laugh. "

" I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces. "

" When you're as famous as I am, stories take on a life of their own. "

" I've been extremely lucky having been in the army when I was a boy of fourteen. "

" I was in the band as a boy and was taught music and learned to compose. "

" My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad. "

" Well if I was going to describe my audience, it's going to take longer than you'd ever expect, hundreds of years in fact, because there's many of them, all over the world. "

" What I like doing most is making children laugh. "

" I like consistency. If you've had a childhood like mine, you want some things you can rely on to stay the same. "

" Don't get me wrong: I'm overjoyed with my career to date. But perhaps I could have done more. Mostly, I just did whatever the directors told me to do. "

" All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved. "

" Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse. "

" I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. "

" I must admit I like to muck around a bit; I always have. "

" I'm still constantly thinking of ideas. I don't feel 90. I think I'm about 12. "

" There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over. "

" As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. "

" I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and this is really true - I go on to have fun with a crowd of my chums. "

" I owe everything to the army. "

" But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get. "