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" I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. "
Steven Wright
Coffee
Almost
Time
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" If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey? "
Steven Wright
You
Had
Like
" Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. "
John Lennon
Enjoy
Time
Wasted
" He who is too busy doing good finds no time to be good. "
Rabindranath Tagore
Busy
Who
Time
" We act as if that being of a man or that being of a woman is actually an internal reality or something that is simply true about us, a fact about us, but actually it's a phenomenon that is being produced all the time and reproduced all the time, so to say gender is performative is to say that nobody really is a gender from the start. "
Judith Butler
Woman
Gender
Man
" I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, 'I can't process it' well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know? "
Charlie Sheen
Ugly
Children
Me
" Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you'll be glad to remember. "
Anne Sullivan
Beginning
You
Time
" Only the guy who isn't rowing has time to rock the boat. "
Jean-Paul Sartre
Time
Leadership
Boat
" Being an entrepreneur is a mindset. You have to see things as opportunities all the time. I like to do interviews. I like to push people on certain topics. I like to dig into the stories where there's not necessarily a right or wrong answer. "
Soledad O'Brien
Opportunities
Time
Mindset
" There comes a time when people get tired of being pushed out of the glittering sunlight of life's July and left standing amid the piercing chill of an alpine November. "
Martin Luther King, Jr.
People
Time
Tired
" My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I'm much more expressive off stage. "
Steven Wright
Act
Stage
Off
" Little minds have little worries, big minds have no time for worries. "
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Little
No Time
Minds
" I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke. "
Steven Wright
Karaoke
Arrested
" I don't ever think about the roads I didn't take because I spend too much time thinking what's ahead. I don't go backwards. "
Kelli O'Hara
Roads
Think
Time
" It just felt like the right time to focus on solo material. "
Robin Gibb
Time
Right
Right Time
" You need to be imagining all the time, imagining yourself outside the walls of your own skull. "
Anthony Doerr
Yourself
Need
Skull
" In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these. "
Paul Harvey
Like
Times
Been
" I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't. "
Steven Wright
Appears
Emotions
Everyone
" Technology gives us the facilities that lessen the barriers of time and distance - the telegraph and cable, the telephone, radio, and the rest. "
Emily Greene Balch
Radio
Distance
Rest
" I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me. "
Steven Wright
Watch
Thought
Night
" I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it; it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual. "
Steven Wright
Comedy
Doing
Looks
" The truth is of course is that there is no journey. We are arriving and departing all at the same time. "
David Bowie
Same
Time
Truth Is
" There is a time in the last few days of summer when the ripeness of autumn fills the air. "
Rudolfo Anaya
Autumn
Time
Air
" You can't please everyone. When you're too focused on living up to other people's standards, you aren't spending enough time raising your own. Some people may whisper, complain and judge. But for the most part, it's all in your head. People care less about your actions than you think. Why? They have their own problems! "
Kris Carr
" Strong women, when respected, make the whole society stronger. One must be careful with such rapid changes, though, and make an effort to preserve, at the same time, the positive traditions of Indian culture. "
Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
Strong
Women
Time
" I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.' "
Steven Wright
Happy
Singing
Birthday
" Time is flying never to return. "
Virgil
Time
Flying
Never
" It's easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself. "
Johann Sebastian Bach
Key
Easy
Time
" Sadness flies away on the wings of time. "
Jean de La Fontaine
Sadness
Away
Flies
" Close to a billion people - one-eighth of the world's population - still live in hunger. Each year 2 million children die through malnutrition. This is happening at a time when doctors in Britain are warning of the spread of obesity. We are eating too much while others starve. "
Jonathan Sacks
Time
Children
Die
" Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous. "
Steven Wright
You
Running
Doing