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" I read good. I was an English major. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Good
Read
English
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" The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bar
Conservative
Pretty
" Politics is - once in a while - a forum for serious debate about political philosophy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Political
Serious
Debate
" Disney's House of the Future had the clean simplicity prized in the 1950s as relief from decades of frayed patchwork, jury-rigging, and make-do clutter caused by Depression and war. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
Depression
Future
" There are 1.3 billion people in China, and they all want a Buick. "
P. J. O'Rourke
China
Billion
Want
" Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Three
You
Thank You
" President Bush said that if illegal immigrants want citizenship, they'd have to do three things: pay taxes, hold meaningful jobs, and learn English. Bush doesn't meet those qualifications. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Immigrants
Citizenship
Meet
" Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that's when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Home
Past
Vacation
" College professors used to be badly paid and worth it. Colleges used to be modest institutions; they should go back to being modest institutions. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Worth
Used
Go
" I believe in God. God created the world. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Believe
God
Created
" Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreational purposes. But certain types of votes clearly should be curtailed - 'assault votes,' for example, in which the only purpose of the vote is to harm others. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Others
Voting
Example
" My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Stupid
Get
Culture
" There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to try to do good with other people's money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Caring
People
" The purpose of sports - even foreign sports - is not to bore people. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Foreign
People
Purpose
" I'm a rather decisive type. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Rather
Type
Decisive
" I think it's always easy to be sympathetic to parts of the government in detail; in their concrete manifestations. Because obviously, we don't have government for no reason. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Detail
Always
Think
" The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there's a reason for that - the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent - No Child Left Behind. "
P. J. O'Rourke
War
America
Child
" Freedom is for fun. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Fun
Freedom
" Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Insurance
Likes
Health
" The budget doesn't have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn't have much control over the budget. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Over
Again
Government
" Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hate
Carter
Communist
" Democrats hate Democrats most of all. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democrats
Most
Hate
" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Climate Change
Research
Change
" The difference between American parties is actually simple. Democrats are in favor of higher taxes to pay for greater spending, while Republicans are in favor of greater spending, for which the taxpayers will pay. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democrats
American
Difference
" The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Teacher
School
Problem
" I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Religion
Experience
Good
" A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Long
Changed
Great
" I spent a lot of time behind the Iron Curtain, and their cars were abysmal. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Curtain
Behind
Iron
" Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for fear of getting dirty, and they use fragrant bath salts from The Body Shop instead of smelly compost. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Growing
Plant
People
" I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Got
Older
Me
" My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Family
Irish