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" Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreational purposes. But certain types of votes clearly should be curtailed - 'assault votes,' for example, in which the only purpose of the vote is to harm others. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Others

Voting

Example

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" Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. "

P. J. O'Rourke

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" Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn't exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments. "

" The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it. "

" America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation. "

" If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. "

" Philosophy was once considered science. "

" Tom DeLay may or may not have broken campaign finance laws, but he did his best to look like he was breaking them. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Best

Look

" Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even with today's scattershot patterns of marriage and parenting, a family is collectivist to a more than North Korean degree. "

" I grew up going to public school, and they were huge public schools. I went to a school that had 3,200 kids, and I had grade school classes with 40-some kids. Discipline was rigid. Most of the learning was rote. It worked. "

" Infant mortality and life expectancy are reasonable indicators of general well-being in a society. "

" The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. "

" Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters. "

" Writing on a computer makes saving what's been written too easy. Pretentious lead sentences are kept, not tossed. Instead of sitting surrounded by crumpled paper, the computerized writer has his mistakes neatly stored in digital memory. "

" Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue. "

" When I was fifteen, I dreamed of living in the big city, as many a young person does if he is artistic and sensitive. By 'artistic and sensitive' I mean short, skinny, unkissed, bad at sports, and carrying a C average in high school. "

" Northwest Ohio is flat. There isn't much up. The land is so flat that a child from Toledo is under the impression that the direction hills go is down. Sledding is done down from street level into creek beds and road cuts. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Road

Street

" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "

" One of the few benefits of being a journalist is that you're not in the Army. "

" Nancy Pelosi says the angry opposition to health care reform is like the angry opposition to gay rights that led to Harvey Milk being shot. "

" Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. But it's number 1,000,000,001. "

" The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants. "

" America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased. "

" Network television has been attempting to lure viewers for years with its low-interest programming only to have those viewers discover later that their brains are bankrupt. "

" Call a man 'ignorant,' and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up. "

" The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin. "

" Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed. "

" After the events of the 20th century, God, quite reasonably, left Europe. But He's still here in the United States. "

" I have no idea if some societies, anthropologically speaking, aren't really suited for democracy. I don't think that's true. "

" People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively. "

" My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. "