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" Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn't matter. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Climate Change
Research
Change
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" Like it or not, I've come to appreciate soccer. Any kid can play, which fits with the inclusive agenda of progressive schools. Although the corollary to 'any kid can play' is that every kid must play because there is an iron grip to the warm hug of progressive inclusionism. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Soccer
Hug
Kid
" The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Law
Religion
Congress
" No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politicians
Politics
Success
" Seriousness is stupidity sent to college. "
P. J. O'Rourke
College
Stupidity
Seriousness
" All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Bad
Change
Done
" The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Sin
Politics
Fairness
" America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being 'hegemonistic', of engaging in 'unilateralism', of behaving as if we're the only nation on earth that counts. We are. "
P. J. O'Rourke
America
Nation
Only
" I don't think anybody's really been successful with theorizing about value or creating a price theory. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Think
Successful
Creating
" Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent domain and deadly force. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Force
Things
Monopolies
" I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I usually don't listen to him. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Agree
Rush
Therefore
" Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn't exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Head
Own
Well
" Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politician
Bear
Baby
" We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Need
Nature
Government
" If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Heard
Death
Somebody
" Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
More
People
Seat
" I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Meet
Danger
Charm
" There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to try to do good with other people's money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Caring
People
" Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Happiness
History
Human
" The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Student
Restaurant
Reviews
" Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. "
P. J. O'Rourke
People
Stay
Living
" Writing on a computer makes saving what's been written too easy. Pretentious lead sentences are kept, not tossed. Instead of sitting surrounded by crumpled paper, the computerized writer has his mistakes neatly stored in digital memory. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Easy
Writing
Sitting
" If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Around
Were
Process
" I like to argue with the radio. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Radio
Argue
" The difference between American parties is actually simple. Democrats are in favor of higher taxes to pay for greater spending, while Republicans are in favor of greater spending, for which the taxpayers will pay. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democrats
American
Difference
" Raining on parades requires no skill or effort on the part of a politician. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Skill
Effort
Part
" More modern poetry is written than read. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Than
Read
Modern
" I'm a rather decisive type. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Rather
Type
Decisive
" Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Powerful
Sometimes
Organization
" Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Beginning
American
Day
" Space has always been confusing to politics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Always
Space
Politics