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" I'm a rather decisive type. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Rather
Type
Decisive
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" The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Common
Here
Middle
" You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you're doing us a favor. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Down
America
You
" The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt. "
P. J. O'Rourke
T-Shirt
Big
Thoughts
" All religious believers should be licensed to make sure that they are competent to hold opinions and viewpoints and that they don't believe in just any old thing, such as creationism or a flat tax. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Opinions
Old
Just
" The 18,000 NASA employees are full of galactic talents and abilities and are ready to accomplish whatever they're directed to do. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Talents
Ready
Employees
" Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have. "
P. J. O'Rourke
American
America
Internet
" I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tongue
Tough
Me
" The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Know
Look
" Neither liberal nor conservative politicians can resist the temptation to stand as mighty sequoias of rectitude amid the lowly underbrush of fundraising. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Liberal
Stand
Temptation
" Until I carried my wife off to New Hampshire, she defined wilderness as the Bronx. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Wife
Wilderness
Until
" Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law if they could. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Conspiracy
Government
Law
" Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Jack
Best
Federal
" I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Remember
Car
Business
" Democrats hate stay-at-home spouses, no matter what gender or gender preference. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gender
Spouses
Matter
" The minute somebody joins a committee... they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politics
People
Brain
" Network television has been attempting to lure viewers for years with its low-interest programming only to have those viewers discover later that their brains are bankrupt. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Programming
Television
Years
" Funding for the original manned Voyager Mars Program was scratched in 1968, before humans had gotten out of Low Earth Orbit. Mid-'60s plans for a Venus fly-by with astronauts actually flying by it met the same fate. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Earth
Same
Plans
" Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Strategy
You
Blue
" When I'm in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
Want
Shouting
" Opinions of language are as interesting as opinions of arithmetic. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Opinions
Language
Interesting
" The good thing about SUVs is they have storage. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Thing
About
Good
" The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Together
Enough
People
" Libertarianism is a way of measuring how the government and other kinds of systems respect the individual. At the core of libertarianism is the idea that the individual is sacrosanct and that anything that's done contrary to the well-being of the individual needs some pretty serious justification. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Serious
Done
Way
" The library, with its Daedalian labyrinth, mysterious hush, and faintly ominous aroma of knowledge, has been replaced by the computer's cheap glow, pesky chirp, and data spillage. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Cheap
Library
Knowledge
" America's grossly unfair tax system won't lead to class war. Or, if it does, the war will be brief. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Tax
Class
Unfair
" America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Purpose
America
Education
" If we were to inspect ourselves or members of our family and our friends, we would see that we don't really have to go all the way overseas to be mystified - we can be mystified right at home. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Family
Friends
Home
" Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Gay
Marriage
Eye
" Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Important
More
Cleanliness
" Corporate corruption has ecological merits. It's helping to preserve that species known as Democrats - thought to be endangered as recently as the year 2000. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Year
Corruption
Thought