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" I'm a huge Sia fan. I love Sia, I have just about all of her stuff. "

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" D.C. is where I started. That's home for me. I always love coming back to the area. They treat me so well, and people show up. They're excited and claim me as their own. I love it. "

" I tried snowboarding, and that scared the hell out of me. "

" There's so many good comedians in D.C. I started hanging out with those guys. Dave Chappelle was there. Actually, Dave was too young to be in the clubs, so when his mom couldn't make it, he would ask me to pretend I was his aunt, so he could do open mike. "

" What drives the creative person is that we see it all. "

" In this business, you get an opportunity, and you pounce on it. "

" I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy. "

" I'm really funny now. "

" To me, in life, if there's, like, a rule, and I think it's ridiculous, then of course I'll circumvent that but also point out how ridiculous the rule is. Other than that, if I go to a concert, and my seat is Row G, Seat 12, I'm sitting in Row G, Seat 12. I don't care if I'm with five other friends, I'm supposed to be in Seat 12, that's my seat. "

" I tried theatre. I played Miss Hannigan for a short run of Annie at a regional theatre. That was fun. I enjoyed it! I enjoy theatre and have so much respect for theatre actors. "

" I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place. "

" Men don't hear women. "

" It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people. "

" The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.' "

" I think sometimes celebrities can hurt a candidate. You don't want people to judge them on your last project. "

" I don't understand why people really get upset about something that doesn't affect them at all. "

" It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians. "

" If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too. "

" I couldn't believe that Donald Trump won. I couldn't believe that we elected an orangutan to front the country. "

" It wasn't until after the reduction that in the lab work, the pathology, that they found that I had DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) in my left breast. I was very, very lucky because DCIS is basically stage-zero cancer. So I was very lucky. "

" I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am. "

" It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes. "

" I knew I was outspoken when I was a kid because, whenever my parents had company coming over, they would pay me to leave. 'Go see your grandmother. Get out of here.' That was my first paying gig. "

" I love working with other actors and other people - you know, stand-up - it's lonely; it's just you out there and the audience. But it's fun working with other actors. I love doing that, too. "

" My worlds collide. When one things happens, it just starts a domino effect - everything else goes on. "

" The government shouldn't be involved in this because it's very simple. If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex. "

" I watched a lot of comedy growing up. "

" I'm shy. I am. I mean, if I get around, you know, in a room of a bunch of people especially I - you know, I don't know or - it takes me a while to warm up. I'm - and the real me, I'm not as witty as, you know, as the comic Wanda. The comic, she's had time to work on some things. "

" Men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal. "

" Stand-up, by far, is my favorite. "

" I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me. "