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" I worked with people like Edward Snowden. Well, not people who took stuff home. "

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" There's so many good comedians in D.C. I started hanging out with those guys. Dave Chappelle was there. Actually, Dave was too young to be in the clubs, so when his mom couldn't make it, he would ask me to pretend I was his aunt, so he could do open mike. "

" But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking. "

" I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun. "

" I'm a stand-up comic. I'm always doing dates; it's just that, if I'm working on a project or I'm busy, I can't get out on the road or book any shows. Since the beginning of my career, I'm usually out for at least 10-15 dates throughout the year. If I have time, then I try to get at least 30-40 dates. "

" I really can't pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic. "

" I'm shy. I am. I mean, if I get around, you know, in a room of a bunch of people especially I - you know, I don't know or - it takes me a while to warm up. I'm - and the real me, I'm not as witty as, you know, as the comic Wanda. The comic, she's had time to work on some things. "

" I work hard. The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project, and it makes them step up. "

" If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too. "

" If I did a talk show, this would allow me to speak on what's happening at that moment. I can be current, and I get to flex my stand-up muscle but stay at home without doing the traveling. "

" I had real big boobs, and I just got tired of knocking over stuff. Every time I eat, 'Oh, Lord'. I'd carry a Tide stick everywhere I go. My back was sore, so it was time to have a reduction. "

" I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance. "

" I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm. "

" I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too. "

" The government shouldn't be involved in this because it's very simple. If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex. "

" D.C. is where I started. That's home for me. I always love coming back to the area. They treat me so well, and people show up. They're excited and claim me as their own. I love it. "

" I have to be socially aware; I feel like that's my job. "

" I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am. "

" People are going to label you anyway, but the one that bugs me the most is when they say, 'One of the funniest female comedians.' There's s no 'funniest male comedians.' You're either a funny comedian, or you're not! "

" My wife asked me if I ever thought I would ever retire from stand-up. And I thought about it, and I was like, 'No, because it's my job; it's what I do, and I enjoy it.' It's still the most challenging thing for me to do. "

" I'm here today because I hated everything else. "

" I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom. "

" Stand-up, by far, is my favorite. "

" I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing. "

" Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it. "

" I remember, when I was a kid, my summers were pretty much running around, riding your bike, and then complaining about you were bored. "

" I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me. "

" I had breast cancer. Yeah, I know it's scary. "

" What drives the creative person is that we see it all. "

" Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal. "

" I think sometimes celebrities can hurt a candidate. You don't want people to judge them on your last project. "