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" I'm here today because I hated everything else. "

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" I'm shy. I am. I mean, if I get around, you know, in a room of a bunch of people especially I - you know, I don't know or - it takes me a while to warm up. I'm - and the real me, I'm not as witty as, you know, as the comic Wanda. The comic, she's had time to work on some things. "

" I knew I was outspoken when I was a kid because, whenever my parents had company coming over, they would pay me to leave. 'Go see your grandmother. Get out of here.' That was my first paying gig. "

" I'm constantly preparing. Material hits me; I'm always writing. I go back and listen to my shows and just prepare and put my set together. But the day of, I like to have some downtime. A nice lunch is important for me. "

" To me, in life, if there's, like, a rule, and I think it's ridiculous, then of course I'll circumvent that but also point out how ridiculous the rule is. Other than that, if I go to a concert, and my seat is Row G, Seat 12, I'm sitting in Row G, Seat 12. I don't care if I'm with five other friends, I'm supposed to be in Seat 12, that's my seat. "

" There's obviously a group who enjoys what Tyler Perry is putting out there. And why fault them? And there's a group that loves the things that Spike does. So they should enjoy that, too. Is it my taste? Maybe not, but I'm not going to fault anybody for doing what they're doing as long as people are showing up. "

" My voice is distinctive: there's a rhythm to it, and also, it's funny. I was just blessed with a funny-sounding voice. "

" I couldn't believe that Donald Trump won. I couldn't believe that we elected an orangutan to front the country. "

" There's so many good comedians in D.C. I started hanging out with those guys. Dave Chappelle was there. Actually, Dave was too young to be in the clubs, so when his mom couldn't make it, he would ask me to pretend I was his aunt, so he could do open mike. "

" I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing. "

" If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too. "

" Men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal. "

" Back then, I was doing more of my impression of what a comic is supposed to do. "

" I think sometimes celebrities can hurt a candidate. You don't want people to judge them on your last project. "

" Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire. "

" I really can't pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic. "

" I worked with people like Edward Snowden. Well, not people who took stuff home. "

" What drives the creative person is that we see it all. "

" I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too. "

" Stand-up, by far, is my favorite. "

" I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am. "

" I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place. "

" People are going to label you anyway, but the one that bugs me the most is when they say, 'One of the funniest female comedians.' There's s no 'funniest male comedians.' You're either a funny comedian, or you're not! "

" It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people. "

" It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh. "

" Sometimes black people really want to hold onto our oppression - 'This is ours! This belongs to us.' You can't just talk about equality for somebody else. Let's pass it on. Let's pass it on to somebody else. At the end of the day, it is all about inequality. "

" It's not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are. "

" Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal. "

" I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business. "

" Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it. "

" I'm a stand-up comic. I'm always doing dates; it's just that, if I'm working on a project or I'm busy, I can't get out on the road or book any shows. Since the beginning of my career, I'm usually out for at least 10-15 dates throughout the year. If I have time, then I try to get at least 30-40 dates. "