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" Stand-up, by far, is my favorite. "

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" In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression. "

" When I'm not on T.V. or working on a movie, I'm on the road doing stand-up. That's my roots. "

" It wasn't until after the reduction that in the lab work, the pathology, that they found that I had DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) in my left breast. I was very, very lucky because DCIS is basically stage-zero cancer. So I was very lucky. "

" I really can't pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic. "

" I was working at the NSA. I don't know, I was just bored. I just knew that's not what I was supposed to be doing with my life. "

" I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business. "

" I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too. "

" I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me. "

" I knew I was outspoken when I was a kid because, whenever my parents had company coming over, they would pay me to leave. 'Go see your grandmother. Get out of here.' That was my first paying gig. "

" People - I hate to use the word 'fans' - are very respectful. It's not like I'm some pop idol or big movie star. I'm very approachable, and I love the people who enjoy me, because they react like they've run into a friend. Usually, it's like, 'Hey, Wanda! How ya' doing?' "

" I have a sidekick, Keith Robinson, who's very funny. I've known Keith for over 20 years; he's my best friend. "

" A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh. "

" I had breast cancer. Yeah, I know it's scary. "

" I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm. "

" But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking. "

" To me, in life, if there's, like, a rule, and I think it's ridiculous, then of course I'll circumvent that but also point out how ridiculous the rule is. Other than that, if I go to a concert, and my seat is Row G, Seat 12, I'm sitting in Row G, Seat 12. I don't care if I'm with five other friends, I'm supposed to be in Seat 12, that's my seat. "

" Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal. "

" My worlds collide. When one things happens, it just starts a domino effect - everything else goes on. "

" I'm really funny now. "

" I love working with other actors and other people - you know, stand-up - it's lonely; it's just you out there and the audience. But it's fun working with other actors. I love doing that, too. "

" I'm a huge Sia fan. I love Sia, I have just about all of her stuff. "

" I don't like doing the same material over and over again. It's not fun. "

" The government shouldn't be involved in this because it's very simple. If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex. "

" I think it's because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that's real. "

" Men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal. "

" It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people. "

" I have a lot of breast cancer history on my mother's side of the family. "

" I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am. "

" If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you. "

" I have to be socially aware; I feel like that's my job. "