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" If I have kids, I'll adopt. "
Sarah Silverman
Adopt
Kids
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" I like my life alone. "
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" I remember when I got a part on 'Seinfeld' it was like an out of body experience, I was so excited. "
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Got
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" Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. "
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Humor
People
" That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive. "
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Find
Offensive
Say
" I don't really care for, like, fat jokes about women, specifically. "
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Like
Care
Fat
" You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to. "
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Supposed
You
Tell
" I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it. "
Sarah Silverman
Avoid
Offend
Out
" Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies. "
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Growing Up
Loved
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" I have no religion, but I can't escape being extremely Jewish ethnically - that is, culturally. In other words, I'm not religious, but I worry and I'm neurotic. And I'm very good with money. "
Sarah Silverman
Good
Money
Worry
" As a kid, I was terrified. I was a bed wetter, and I had to go to sleepaway camp every summer, which was humiliating and terrifying. I had lots of insecurities and scaredness. "
Sarah Silverman
Insecurities
Go
Bed
" My growing up years, we watched 'Happy Days,' every night. I don't know what was reruns and what was new. "
Sarah Silverman
Happy
Know
Night
" You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage. "
Sarah Silverman
Comic
Whatever
You
" I'm always writing; I'm always jotting things down on paper or making notes in my iPhone. Then I'll make myself sit down and kind of shape it up, but there's really no other way to practice other than onstage. "
Sarah Silverman
Writing
Down
Kind
" And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school. "
Sarah Silverman
Back
Three
Me
" Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert. "
Sarah Silverman
Everyone
Alert
Course
" I'd love to do drama if it was interesting. "
Sarah Silverman
Interesting
Drama
Love
" I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games. "
Sarah Silverman
Quarter
Last
Games
" I just think of myself as a comedian, really. I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion. "
Sarah Silverman
Talk
Religion
Myself
" I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing. "
Sarah Silverman
Silhouette
Heart
Made
" I had a lot of depression as a kid. "
Sarah Silverman
Kid
Lot
Had
" I do love the idea of ritual. "
Sarah Silverman
Idea
Love
Ritual
" I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion. "
Sarah Silverman
Myself
Funny
Religion
" I really think everything is fair game. "
Sarah Silverman
Game
Fair
Everything
" I have very vivid dreams - almost always action-adventure. I'm often on the run. I've always had dreams. When I was little, I'd go to sleep with my head on my hands, which were in fists like I was looking through a camera. I felt like sleep was the movies - just drifting off to the movies. "
Sarah Silverman
Looking
Run
Sleep
" I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me. "
Sarah Silverman
Think
Way
Funny
" I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not. "
Sarah Silverman
Jewish
Totally
" I think I've been called edgy - but in all honesty, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot. Unless you're just listening to buzz words and not taking into account the context of the situation, you see I'm always the ignoramus. "
Sarah Silverman
Listening
Safety
Words
" The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17. "
Sarah Silverman
Summer
First
First Time
" I do love the idea of ritual. I'm a very ritualistic person. I have to wash my face twice, and on the second wash before I rinse, I brush my teeth, then I rinse, then I floss, then I put on moisturizer. I'm ritualistic. Jewishness is very ritualistic. "
Sarah Silverman
Teeth
Love
Twice
" What are the chances there is a God, really? "
Sarah Silverman
God
Chances
Really