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" My dad loves to be talked about, good or bad. He just loves it. He's not even hearing the content, he's just hearing him. When I'm onstage, he's looking at the audience members and can't believe that there are strangers listening to me, and he's just delighted by the whole thing. "

Sarah Silverman

Believe

Looking

Listening

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" I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing. "

" I do love the idea of ritual. I'm a very ritualistic person. I have to wash my face twice, and on the second wash before I rinse, I brush my teeth, then I rinse, then I floss, then I put on moisturizer. I'm ritualistic. Jewishness is very ritualistic. "

" You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage. "

" It fills me with a weird rage to wear shoes that make me not able to walk easily or run if I had to. It feeds into this whole 'war on women' thing in my head. "

" If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. "

" If I have kids, I'll adopt. "

Sarah Silverman

Adopt

Kids

" Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. "

" I'm a very ritualistic person. I have to wash my face twice, and on the second wash before I rinse, I brush my teeth, then I rinse, then I floss, then I put on moisturizer. I'm ritualistic. Jewishness is very ritualistic. "

" Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill. "

" They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle. "

" What are the chances there is a God, really? "

" I really think everything is fair game. "

" The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17. "

" I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion. "

" I'm doing a lot of stand-up, but not like when you're living in New York and you can do three sets a night and it's your life, and you sleep all day and you wake up and you eat with a bunch of other comics and then get ready for the night. "

" I remember when I got a part on 'Seinfeld' it was like an out of body experience, I was so excited. "

" As a kid, I was terrified. I was a bed wetter, and I had to go to sleepaway camp every summer, which was humiliating and terrifying. I had lots of insecurities and scaredness. "

Sarah Silverman

Insecurities

Bed

" You want to make people laugh and by virtue of that please them, but when you're instructed to make people laugh and please them, you're too resentful to do it. "

" Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now. "

" Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert. "

" Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine. "

" I like my life alone. I mean, I love being with friends, and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices. "

" I just think of myself as a comedian, really. "

" I'd love to do drama if it was interesting. "

" I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core. "

" I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself. "

" You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to. "

" Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of our fears and our feelings and more vocal about it. "

" But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough. "