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" I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology. "
Roseanne Barr
Tyranny
Yourself
Great
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" I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them. "
Roseanne Barr
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Why
People
" To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes. "
Roseanne Barr
Write
Discipline
Great
" My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel. "
Roseanne Barr
World
Hope
Just
" The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. "
Roseanne Barr
Cleaning
Out
Riding
" Imitation is the sincerest form of show business. "
Roseanne Barr
Show Business
Imitation
Business
" Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids. "
Roseanne Barr
Before
Bed
Night
" You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.' "
Roseanne Barr
Saying
Better
Blessed
" Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need righteous and strong men who will help us to use our most cherished gifts: the ability to multitask and problem solve. "
Roseanne Barr
Roads
Strong
Women
" The fact that my grown kids like to hang out with me, I mean, it just - I don't think it really can get any better than that, I don't think. "
Roseanne Barr
Me
Like
Fact
" As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews. "
Roseanne Barr
Pay
Israel
Shoot
" In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth. "
Roseanne Barr
Good
Find
You
" I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver. "
Roseanne Barr
Am
Woman
I Am
" You kind of restructure your whole personality to be in a healthy relationship. "
Roseanne Barr
Relationship
Personality
Healthy
" The real truth is, I just want to keep the voice of dissent alive in all of our elections. I don't really want to hang out with politicians. "
Roseanne Barr
Truth
Truth Is
Voice
" My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. "
Roseanne Barr
Suicide
Sign
Agreement
" The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment 'Roseanne' dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous! "
Roseanne Barr
End
Fame
Moment
" I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote. "
Roseanne Barr
Because
Always
Writer
" I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now I, working as the physical manifestation of the goddess Isis and the reincarnation of Cleopatra, have decided to save the world. "
Roseanne Barr
Beautiful
Men
Now
" I know how to do anything, I'm a mom. "
Roseanne Barr
How
Know
Anything
" I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference. "
Roseanne Barr
Difference
Tell
Sometimes
" I was completely nuts for most of my life. "
Roseanne Barr
Most
Life
Nuts
" I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone. "
Roseanne Barr
Want
Alone
Think
" And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny. "
Roseanne Barr
Funny
You
Writing
" I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three. "
Roseanne Barr
Three
Prison
California
" I gave Joss Whedon and Judd Apatow their first writing jobs, as well as many other untried writers who went on to great success. "
Roseanne Barr
First
Writing
Well
" I do kabbalistic meditation. It's not unlike time travel; it can change the past and not just the future. You can look at what was lost and go beyond the grief of what was lost. "
Roseanne Barr
Grief
Time
You
" The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. "
Roseanne Barr
You
Women
Power
" Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought. "
Roseanne Barr
People
America
Claim
" Comedy is the only hope for humanity. "
Roseanne Barr
Hope
Comedy
Only
" I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do. "
Roseanne Barr
Up
People
Comic