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" Marriage is not a magical potion that serves to amplify adoration, reduce deep-seated feelings of resentment, erase fears of commitment, or answer questions about whether or not this is the right move. Marriage is a ceremony that cements your current bond to another human being, and while that's a huge thing, that's all it does. "

Emily V. Gordon

Bond

Marriage

Questions

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" I think it's always good to get into your partner's mindset. "

" People get married for a wide array of reasons and have all sorts of expectations of how marriage will change the relationship. And while it's true that turning the person you're dating into a legal partner does affect certain things, those who expect marriage to be a cure-all for all your relationship woes are sorely mistaken. "

" I have multiple tattoos. "

Emily V. Gordon

Multiple

Tattoos

" Sacrificing your relationship for your career sounds noble and romantic from the outside, but the reality is that it can create a pattern of self-destruction that will ultimately burn you out on the career you've worked so hard to build. It's a trap and, for some, an easy way out of having to maintain relationships under stress. "

" Women compete, compare, undermine, and undercut one another - at least, that is the prevailing notion of how we interact. "

" Experiences don't make us damaged goods; it's what we do with those experiences that matters. "

Emily V. Gordon

Make

Matters

" Women are encouraged to go on an emotional journey of self-care after a divorce, while men are expected to need help learning how to cook and parent on their own. "

" There's nothing like listening to the drone of QVC's always-bubbly pitchwomen, as they try to move loose-fitting tunics with 'just the right amount of sparkle,' to soothe you into a healing slumber. "

" Not deciding is a decision. People don't realize that not making a decision is a decision in itself. "

" I thought of 'The Big Sick' as a placeholder title, to be completely honest. I've grown to love it. "

" Holiday food is rich and indulgent. Going-home-to-see-family food is richer and even more indulgent. "

" It's absolutely amazing to me that anyone allowed their children to watch 'The Ren & Stimpy Show' in the '90s; it's dark, gross, nihilistic, and absolutely bizarre. "

" Men - not all men but a good majority of the ones I have known and worked with - tend to think of difficult situations in their lives as problems that need to be solved. "

" If you've had a marriage that ended because of a betrayal in trust on your spouse's behalf, the idea of trusting another person with your heart can seem completely ridiculous. "

" Keeping physical items from the past is important - we keep old toys, grandparents' jewelry, yearbooks, dance recital programs - and we assign meaning to them. Those items become the memories, and that's a very healthy thing to do. The problems occur when we have too many of those sentimental items, and they start weighing us down. "

" In some cases, newlyweds want so badly for things to be perfect that they ignore warning signs, both in themselves and each other. "

" Cheating is very rarely about the actual act of being with another person. "

" In Hollywood, it seems that the people least successful at being married are the ones most eager to tie the knot over and over again. "

" Marriage, even a happy and successful one, can be extremely stressful, but that stress is worth it if you're marrying the best person for you. "

" I haven't always been the best advocate for my own body. I was a too-tall, pudgy child who felt completely out of control of the genetic lottery ticket she'd been given, so in retaliation, I shut down. I ignored my body and hated it for not being tiny and cute like my friends' bodies. "

" Sometimes we put so much effort into things we're doing, like dating or wedding planning, that we don't stop to think about whether or not we even want the results of that effort. "

" If a show is wickedly, hugely popular, like 'Mad Men,' I assume that the masses, in their infinite inferiority to me, don't know what good TV is and that everyone is just brainwashed. "

Emily V. Gordon

Good

Men

" I'm tired of hearing about 'Damages,' I don't care how life-changing 'The Wire' is, and I don't want to hear another word about 'Battlestar Galactica' or its super-awesome ending. "

" The period that directly follows the dissolution of a long term relationship is extremely volatile, with emotions running the gamut from misery to elation to relief to terror. "

" Betrayal can be extremely painful, but it's up to you how much that pain damages you permanently. "

Emily V. Gordon

Betrayal

You

" In my professional and personal life, when I meet people who feel broken after a divorce, they can usually be divided into two categories: those who truly believe there's something wrong with them, and those that are using their status as armor. "

" When I was young and less wise, I thought that being a feminist meant being independent. It meant not sacrificing your needs for anyone else's and not relying on anyone else for even a smidgen of your happiness or well being. "

" Get married wherever you like, make accommodations for the people you love so they can attend, and forget about the people who can't. "

" I think it's lovely when people are more involved in local politics. "

Emily V. Gordon

Politics

Lovely

" 'The Babadook,' written and directed by a woman, is a gorgeously told female-focused story of grief, longing, loneliness, and what mourning can become. "