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" Men - not all men but a good majority of the ones I have known and worked with - tend to think of difficult situations in their lives as problems that need to be solved. "

Emily V. Gordon

Men

Problems

Think

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" It's absolutely amazing to me that anyone allowed their children to watch 'The Ren & Stimpy Show' in the '90s; it's dark, gross, nihilistic, and absolutely bizarre. "

" Your wedding day is supposed to be your big day, and yet a lot of engaged couples find that instead of creating an event that will be important to them, they're dodging through a minefield of modern etiquette traps. "

" I have a pretty intense work ethic. If something's not done, I cannot let go until I get it done. "

Emily V. Gordon

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" I have multiple tattoos. "

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" If you don't simply communicate with your spouse what household tasks you would like them to do, you are setting yourself up to be angry. "

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" You're not a victim of your divorce. What you decide to do with yourself and your personal life after your marriage ends is your decision, and completely under your control. "

" Sometimes new spouses don't fully process the commitment they've made until after the deal is done, and then they panic. "

" In my professional and personal life, when I meet people who feel broken after a divorce, they can usually be divided into two categories: those who truly believe there's something wrong with them, and those that are using their status as armor. "

" I am somewhat grateful to the disintegration of my marriage for teaching me a lot about myself and about relationships, and though I wish it hadn't been such a taxing lesson, I wouldn't change a thing. "

" Some divorcees turn their pain inward. They brood, and they grieve for a long time, always wondering if they could have done something differently to keep this from happening. They make every problem in their relationship into something they could have prevented. "

" After my divorce, I took some time off from having a romantic life to begin the tough work of figuring out where I'd gone wrong and what on Earth I could do to understand how to be a whole person in a relationship. "

" Experiences don't make us damaged goods; it's what we do with those experiences that matters. "

Emily V. Gordon

Make

Matters

" Burlesque dancing didn't solve all my post-divorce problems, but what it did do was force me to court myself for a little while. "

" Sometimes, I hate-watch television. "

Emily V. Gordon

Sometimes

Television

" Don't sacrifice alone time with your spouse just because the kids seem needy. A united front requires adult time alone, so put it in the calendar and make it a priority. A house cannot stand on a shaky foundation. "

" Balanced, passionate, grounded people are the ones whose careers are ultimately the most successful. "

" Unequivocally, individual human beings who live together will always have different standards of what a 'clean house' looks like. "

" In some cases, newlyweds want so badly for things to be perfect that they ignore warning signs, both in themselves and each other. "

" No matter how you handle alcohol at your wedding, you will most likely be upsetting someone. "

" If you've experienced cheating in a new marriage, the real work is not obsessively combing through all the details of what happened, but rather figuring out if your relationship is worth saving. "

" I always tell people, 'Take a class or volunteer.' It really helps you get out of your own little pocket of people you always see and gets you exposed to a new group of people. "

" Parents go to sleep early. This is universal. "

" When we each focus on being the dominant force in our own universe rather than invading other universes, we all win. "

" People all want and need different emotional responses - some people like to be talked down when they're angry; some people want to be left alone. "

" I had a tightly knit group of female friends in elementary school - we called ourselves the Sensational Six. "

" I'm a mental-health advocate big time, so I think it's great when depression is a thing that's discussed out in the open, because it's still way too stigmatized. "

" Marriage is not a magical potion that serves to amplify adoration, reduce deep-seated feelings of resentment, erase fears of commitment, or answer questions about whether or not this is the right move. Marriage is a ceremony that cements your current bond to another human being, and while that's a huge thing, that's all it does. "

" Don't expect yourself to immediately love your stepchildren. In fact, you may hate them for a bit. "

" Marriage, or any committed partnership, has become sacred to me, powerful and fragile all at the same time. "

Emily V. Gordon

Powerful

Time